Thursday, July 22, 2010

Do You Ever Take Your Ring(s) Off?

I was having brunch a few days ago with Mr Trailmix and several of our friends, a few of whom are engaged.  The subject of wedding bands came up and one of his friend's fiances asked to see mine.  I eagerly raised my hand (come on, you know you all love to show off the bling, I'm not the only one!), only to sheepishly lower it when I realized that I had forgotten to put on my rings that morning.  And then to make matters worse, when the subject turned to men's wedding bands, we all realized that Mr Trailmix's hand was naked too! (In his defense, it's at the jewelers getting resized. But still...)

So there we were, a couple of newlyweds not even married a month, and neither of us were wearing our wedding rings.  We did get a few raised eyebrows and surprised looks when I explained that I don't wear my set that often, to be honest.  When I'm sleeping, cooking, cleaning or running, I take them off.  When I take a shower or go swimming, I take them off.  Sometimes, I just wear one band (I have two bands plus the engagement ring, all different.) because it's easier, especially in this New York City humidity, where my fingers resemble plump, Italian sausages.  I always wear them when I leave our apartment, except when I forget to put them back on.  Which happens, sadly, more often than I would like to admit.

Back at brunch, one of Mr TM's friend's commented that she never takes hers off, ever.  Another said she takes hers off when she goes running because she doesn't want to run (harhar) the risk of getting mugged for it, but other than that, her ring stays on all the time.

Truthfully, I was a bit surprised to hear I was in the minority for taking mine off all the time, I kinda figured most women were more like me.  And I may be acting a bit over-sensitive here (Granted, I was hungover, which never helps the situation :)  but I also felt s light attitude of judgy-ness in their surprise over the fact that I don't wear mine that often.  It's not that I'm trying to avoid showing the world I'm married.  Quite the contrary, to be honest.  My sentences are peppered with the phrase "my husband" (Gosh, I love saying that) to the point where friends might be starting to get annoyed.  I'm not trying to mislead anyone or appear to be single, I'm just forgetful (that might be the understatement of the year.)

And fine, if we want to get down to the real nitty-gritty, I suppose the forgetfulness stems from the fact that I don't put much stock in symbols like a ring.  I know I'm married, I know I'm committed to my husband and he knows it as well, but I don't feel the need to share this with the entire world.  Really, it's a piece of metal on my hand and if I don't wear it one day, it doesn't mean I'm not any less married than someone who wears theirs all the time, ya heard? And I refuse to be defined by my marriage or let others define me by my "wife" status.  But really, mostly, it's just that I'd lose my head if it weren't attached to my shoulders and I simply forget to put the rings back on after showering/running/cleaning, etc.

*Steps off soapbox.  

Ok, now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'm curious to hear from the rest of you guys...Are you in the "Wear the ring all the time, no matter what" camp or the "Wear the ring most of the time, depending on the circumstances" camp? 


  1. I'm with you. I less often than not. Surprisingly I wear it mostly when i'm going out with the Mister or dressing up to go somewhere. Other than that, its off like all other jewelry. It doesn't mean I love my husband any less.

  2. I'm with you 100%. When I come home & work clothes come off for comfy yoga pants - so does ALL my jewelry. I wear it whenever I leave the house, but there have been many times when we're rushing and I just forget.

    Like you, once I'm married I'll probably only wear my band most of the time & add my engagement ring for special occasions.

    As my Mom always says, "Ya don't wear diamonds to make meatloaf, grocery shop and change dirty diapers"... oh all the glamour we have to look forward too.LOL

  3. I'm in the wear my rings all the time. But mostly because if I took them off I'd lose them or misplace them. :-P So it's sort of my way of safekeeping them. My e-ring isn't terribly large or flashy, and my wedding band is a plain band, so perhaps that's why it's not as difficult to wear all the time. People definitely should not be defined by their wife status and the ring doesn't really define commitment. I like to wear it all the time cause it makes me smile that someone LOVES me that much they wanted to marry me! :-P

  4. I take mine off to do dishes, put on lotion, go to the lake/pool/beach