Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Secret Life of Bees: Trailmix Edition

Let me just put this out there: I'm a total wierdo.  There's so many things I do that I absolutely would never tell anyone else on the planet (except Mr Trail Mix, since he lives with me and knows about most of them) but, in keeping with the sharing spirit of the holidays, I came up with a few little secrets I'm willing to divulge...



Um, YUM!!!!

One:  I occasionally (and by occasionally I mean frequently) eat either cereal or ice cream for dinner.  The cereal is not a healthy, Kashi-esque type either, it's usually Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Frosted Flakes, etc. And the ice cream is typically Ben and Jerry's.

So, obviously, that's kind of an embarrassing secret given that I am 27 years old but here's the real kicker: I teach a freakin' Wellness class to kindergartners and first graders.  So I stand up in front of 5-year-olds every day and talk about the importance of portion control and eating fruits and veggies at every meal but the truth is, my diet is junk.  Believe me, the irony is not lost on any us...

Ok, that's one, here's Number Two (literally...OMG, cannot believe I'm about to tell you guys this story...):  One time in college, I took such a big poop that I passed out cold on the toilet seat in the communal bathroom in my dorm and my hall mates called the EMT's.  Said EMT's rode an ambulance, complete with sirens blaring to my dorm, examined me thoroughly and then announced to my entire dorm population (who had gathered because of all the commotion) that the reason I passed out what due to the "size of the bowel movement." Worst. Moment. of my Entire. Life.

And finally, number three: I'm a picker.  I pick my scabs, I pick my dry scalp, I pick my hangnails, I pick my zits, I can't leave anything alone, I pick pick pick pick.  Now you're totally grossed out, right? Yeah, I am too...It's a nasty habit I can't seem to quit.  Blech.

So hopefully I haven't sent too many of you lovely readers running for the hills in disgust over the wierdo who somehow managed to become a Weddingbee Blogger, so let's even the score.  Tell me, please, before I die of embarrassment over secret number two, what's your most embarrassing secret?

5 comments:

  1. I found your blog while I was just browsing another blog. Read a few articles and enjoyed them so I've checked back a couple of times. This was amazing and I definitely laughed out loud in my empty apartment. I'm a picker so I relate there and my fiance loves the subject of poop (which for a long time he wouldn't talk to me about because he always joked "girls don't poop!"). Anyway, you have no idea how eagerly I'm waiting for him to come on over so I can have him read your story, it's my favorite poop story ever.

    As for an embarrassing secret... I'll give my own poop story. This was right after my fiance started kinda talking about it in front of me. I was in the middle of a blueberry phase and I ate a HUGE amount of them this one week. So much so that my poop turned almost exactly blueberry colored, it was so awesome. I got done and went straight to my fiance to tell him and all I said was "IT WAS BLUUUUEEEE!" and I was way more happy about it than anyone should be about such a thing! He didn't get it at first, but it was great, really great.

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  2. I know we tend to gush over things on blog comments & use words like "gorgeous" and "the best" way too much.

    Honestly?

    The Poop story = THEE best thing I ever read on a blog. the end. :)

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  3. AAAHHAHA!! I love you! I NEVER heard that story...I can't believe that! You're funny.

    Picking runs in my family. It was passed down on my mother's side. My sister specializes in scabs, and I specialize in blackheads...gross? Maybe...

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  4. This post is AWESOME - NOTHING beats a good poop story. Yours tops any I have or I have heard. My best poop story - Once I pooped and it was the perfect shape of a horseshoe. I didn't flush bc I had to show everyone!

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