Tuesday, June 29, 2010

These Are My Confessions...

I know, I know, you might be a little confused about why I'm confessing things after I was all "My wedding was awesome, etc" in my last post.  Well, I mean,  it was awesome! 

BUT...I feel like before I get to all the giddy, fun, giggly, exciting and heart-sighing moments, I have to put this out there: I cried at my wedding. And not out of happiness (Ok, fine, there were many moments of happy-crying as well.  I'm a crier. We know this.) Remember how I said it wasn't perfect? Um, yeah, that part is most definitely true.

Honestly, the two hours before the wedding were some of the most stressful moments of the entire planning process.  Between missing dance floor pieces, rain, a behind-schedule set-up crew, rain, the bouquets being different than I had envisioned and did I mention the rain? There were several moments of tears and panic pretty much up until the processional started.  Oh yeah, and because of the rain, we had to do pictures under an awning outside the ceremony site and every single guest saw me before the ceremony.  Drat.

And then to top it all off, the power went out on our band during their second set.  Twice.  The first time, it was quickly and easily fixed but the second time took about 10 minutes to figure out the problem.  After five or so minutes, I started to break down.  I was having visions of the power being completely blown and everyone leaving the reception early (this happened around 9:30 pm.) Thank god we had some electrical geniuses as guests because we did eventually get the band back up and rocking, without noticeable mishap.

So there you have it: I cried several times during the wedding out of frustration, disappointment or anxiety.  I'm so not proud of myself for doing this but I also know that my extreme Type A personality combined with very high expectations basically set myself up for this type of reaction. To be honest, I might have cried even if it hadn't rained or the dance floor had been the size we requested.  Heck, I might've cried if the florist gave my mom a pin corsage when we ordered her a nosegay (oh wait, that actually happened.)

You see where I'm going with this? Basically, it's OK to cry at your wedding.  Geeez, I mean, it's your party and you can cry if you want to, dammit!  Try not to but don't feel guilty if you do.  I've definitely struggled a bit with my reactions during the past few weeks, feeling upset with myself for not being a Zen bride, the laid-back, low-key bride whom nothing could bother the entire night.  Nope, not me, unfortunately...And for a while, I was kicking myself for getting so upset on such an important day.

But ya know what? Two weeks later, all these stories are starting to become kind of funny.  Even my reactions are becoming mildly humorous (or ludicrous, depending on how much you like me or not...) And here's why: 

When I think of our wedding, I think of the dancing, the smiles, the vows we wrote, the food, the relatives, the laughter, the friends, the love that enveloped us that night.  These are the things I have taken away with me from the wedding and these are the things that make me cry happy tears whenever I think about them. 

So in short, if you cry unhappy tears at your wedding, it's alright and don't beat yourself up over it. Don't let the small negatives become the focus of the evening because even if there are some low moments (which, let's be honest, this will happen for most of us during our weddings) the highs are so high, the rest doesn't even matter.  I promise.

Alright, I aired my dirty little secrets, whose with me? Who else cried (not out of happiness) at their wedding? Did you feel guilty for not being a Zen bride? What went wrong at your wedding? 


  1. My wedding day isn't for another 9 months, but I'm busy with the planning, like you being seriously type-A and setting my expectations high.

    I LOVE reading hindsight from recently wed women because it helps put things in perspective.

    I definitely had a lot of moments like you described here prior to (and during) our engagement party, which was an indicator I might be the same way at our wedding.

    I think one of our best decisions thus far was to hire a planner, but nevertheless, I think I ought to take some time this next year to stop thinking about flowers and props, and focus on what I'm going to do when something goes wrong (Murphy's law, right?) and just preparing for a very emotional day overall (tears of happiness and not).

    Seriously though, thanks for this. I know it had to be a tough confession to make, but don't beat yourself up. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting things to be beautiful and go the way you planned, after all you worked so hard to plan!

    Now it's time to sit back and enjoy the memories of it all!

  2. Thanks for putting things in perspective :) I know I'll be a nervous wreck :)

  3. you know - on my actual WEDDING DAY i didn't cry...I wasn't stressed...I knew to just let it go.

    BUT. the day before our wedding, I found myself alone, loading alllll of the freaking boxes of wedding decorations (boxes and boxes mind you!) and buckets full of flowers. It took me almost an HOUR to load the truck! AND THEY WERE HEAVY! I was annoyed and frustrated to be doing it all on my own (bridesmaids weren't in town yet....my family went SHOPPING that morning instead of helping me load...etc.) I was practically sobbing as I loaded!! Doy.

    Thankfully I got over it about an hour later when everyone came together to help me with flowers :-)