And it's a not a good one. Actually, I think it could accurately be described as sheer terror. Or possibly extreme anxiety. Or maybe a combination of the two. In other words, I'm really really really really really effin' nervous about our wedding. I'm now just under the 5-month mark and it's beginning to hit home that this thing is really going to happen.
Part of the problem with having a long (15-month) engagement is that for most of the planning, the wedding seems impossibly far off. 13 months away? No problem. 10 months out? Easy peasy, can't wait. Even being 8, 7 and 6 months away didn't freak me out. But now? I'm officially freaked out, wacked out, tired out and just plain nervous!
There's so many things to be worried about, I'm even worrying that I'm not worrying about the right things. What if there's some other glaring detail that I've completely over-looked that will come back to haunt me?
Do you want to hear the litany of concerns running through my head at a faster, more urgent pace than ever before? Ok, here it goes... I'm worried it will pour cats and dogs and everyone will get mud on their shoes and the dance floor will be flooded. I'm worried that the food will be cold, that there won't be enough or that people will spill while serving themselves family-style. I'm worried nobody will be able to come and all my planning will have been for naught. I'm worried that everyone will come and I'll have rent a bigger tent, dance floor, etc. I'm worried my hair will fall flat, my make-up will disappear and I'll be a shiny, sweaty mess for all the photos. I'm worried about the timeline of the day, making sure everyone gets to the right place at the right time and how to fit everyone into the available bed and breakfasts in the area. I'm worried that no one will dance or have fun and the whole even will be a big, fat fail. I'm worried that a bird will poop on my head during the ceremony, that my palms will be too sweaty when I greet everyone and that I'll get a huge zit on the tip of my nose the day before...Ok, the last three are slight (and only slight) exaggerations but you get the picture...
Basically, it comes down to this: Mr TM's parent's and mine have given us an incredibly generous budget to work with. But in the words of Spiderman, "With great power comes great responsibility." I feel a lot of pressure to plan this amazing wedding based on the budget I've been given and various expectations of both families. And sometimes (ok, lately, a friggin lot of the time) I just get really damn nervous!
I know I'm not alone in this feelings, is anyone else found themselves in a freak-out, panic moment lately??