Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Smells Like Rejection

I'm a sensitive girl.  I cry at commercials and take things too personally. I know this about myself (self-awareness is a biotch!) but it's not an easy character trait to change.  I'm working on it but I've got a long way to go.

Just call me Miss Cries-A-Lot!

So you'll understand why I cried when I found out another one of my bridesmaids won't be able to attend my shower.  It was an honest mistake and I know she feels badly about the whole thing but it still hurts to think about her not being there.  Two bridesmaids - One shower = A sad Trail Mix.

I've come to the realization during the wedding planning process that rejection is inevitable.  This is a somewhat irrational feeling though. Obviously,  not everyone will be able to attend every single event (and I've been totally spoiled with several soirees related to the engagement/wedding.) But whenever I get a "No" RSVP to anything, it's hard not to feel personally rejected.

The normal, rational, calm, smart side of my brain says "Trail Mix, cool it.  You can't have everyone there for every single event. It's just the way it works.  Get over it and stop being a silly, sensitive girl about these things." But then the crazy, emotional (dare I say it? No, I shan't...Let's just say sometimes I remind myself of a certain bridal Japanese monster whose two-syllable name rhymes with "Side" and "Killah") side of my brain takes over and I cry and think "WAAAAH! I just want everyone that I love there! It's my wedding and my friends and I JUST WANT IT TO BE HOW I WANT IT!" Usually, my rational side manages to quell my crazy side before I can do any real damage but it's always a heated internal debate.

Proof that once again, no one cares as much about your wedding as you do? Possibly (Ok, fine, in my case it's totally true.) But I don't think that's really the issue here.  Life gets in the way of these events, random things pop up, which most of the time I like to think I'm understanding about.  But sometimes, it just sucks.

I find myself repeating the cliched mantra of "It's not me, it's you" over and over when it comes to RSVP's.  Just because someone cannot attend one of my wedding event, does not mean that they do not love me or does not want to come.  Like I said before, life gets in the way, I totally understand that. But it's just so hard not to take it as a personal rejection sometimes!

I know I'm not the only one experiencing this, I've seen lots of posts related to the issue during my tenure here on the 'Bee.  So I'm curious to know, how do you deal with the "personal rejection" feelings? Are you sensitive about these things like I am? Or are you better than that and able to accept that life gets in the way without taking it personally?


  1. i hear you, but you have the right attitude about it - life gets in the way - even if you cry sometimes. that's healthy. it's hard, because you're in super planning mode so you're thinking about your wedding a lot, but people have so many other things going on so they won't be able to make it to everything. i'm sure she feels terrible though.

  2. Oh man, I am totally that way sometimes when it comes to wedding stuff. I have already had a couple friends have to say No to my shower because of other events going on. And I was super pissed at a close friend who planned her friend's shower on the same day as mine even after I told her what day mine was on! UGH! But I got over it and realized that in today's lifestyles of chaos, overscheduling, massive parties, sports, etc, there's just no way to be able to get everyone you love in the same room at the same time.

    Funny thing is, now I am actually praying we do get a couple no responses for the wedding because we invited a few more than we can accommodate!